People who have gone through any wrong relationship, a divorce or been windowed often wondered if a second Shaadi is required. Answering such a question is quite difficult as every individual has a different perspective and opinion about what is the best course of action. While we do not have any divorce data rate in India for second marriage, but in us, it is recorded that the second marriage rate is comparatively higher than the first.
There are numerous portable giving matrimonial services for second marriage, which just goes to show there is no guarantee that second marriage would work or it is better than the first one.
Before taking any decision, you need to understand the pros and cons of a second marriage.
Problems in a second marriage and how to overcome
The list of all the challenges you would like to face is a second marriage:
- Did you make decisions too early: most common mistake people make is to get married on the rebound. When people see second marriage as an instant pain reliever to get over the deep sense of losses, betrayal, and anguish experienced in the prior marriage, there is a problem of deciding in haste without thinking about the emotional readiness.
In India, failed marriages create pressure on parents who want to set the wrong right. Despite changing attitude, parents and extended relatives see a failed relationship as a loss of face. Sometimes daughters and son were forcefully pushed into any new relation in whom they are not ready yet.
- Able to forget the past: even though the marriage is successful and you are in a healthy relationship, it may be possible you can forget your first love. Many of us would never be able to forget the past relationship and the perception of the current partners is always coloured by the past relationships. Inability to let go of the past could cause anyone to come to wrong conclusions about the current spouse or start anticipating bad behaviour based on the prior patterns.
- Kids from the last marriage: managing the relationship with children from a prior marriage and dealing with the stepchildren could cause considerable anguish. You may have made up your mind and happy with the partner you get and still children have their mindset and issues. If kids are very young, it is quite easier to adjust to the new family but if they are adolescents it is very difficult as they are already going through a lot of emotional trauma.
- Repeating the same mistakes: many of us failed to channelize the lessons learned from the past and end up repeating the same mistakes. One fall back into the same old behaviour and habits which causes grief. In India, arranged marriage process does not give you the time and that space required to know the person before marriage.
- Dealing with financial instability: financial matter is one of the leading causes of divorce. Second marriage is not immune to this issue. When the children are involved, property, and inheritance, a second marriage could throw some surprising twists. Stepchildren may fight over money matters.